Heads up guys
I’m going to take down my blog and website for a month. I’m trying to get through some pretty hard mental breakdowns and start from square one. I’m sorry I haven’t been updating but I…just. I don’t know know where I’m trying to go anymore. I feel ridiculously lost and I really need to take a break from social networks. I realize this is going to hinder me art-job wise but not updating does as well. I understand if you unfollow and move on to looking at other artists. Ill return in December, hopefully, with a new outlook on everything. I hope all my collegues are doing well and Ill look you all up after November to see what great projects you are doing.
I hope you guys understand and I wish you all the best.
I’ve been struggling a lot
I’m having a really bad month art wise. I got back from LA and I thought I was going to accomplish so much but I’ve been feeling really terrible about my art and what I’m aiming for in life. I’m focusing on my health and I love it, I’ve minimized the possessions I own, and have found a community online that appreciates my input and presence. None of these things help me with my art, but it really makes me feel good. I really love helping others get healthier and happier and I’m really scared I made the wrong choice of art. It used to make me really happy and passionate about something. Sculpting let’s me have a release but I hate that art for the most part is a selfish act. I want to find a way to make my art useful to someone else…that’s why I wanted to pursue a film studio because movies can inspire and no other studio has done as much for me personally as studio ghibli and Laika. Since Japan was out of the question I knew Laika was my #1 choice. Have I made my search too narrow? Quite possibly, but I found a city in my journey that appreciates the homegrown, the handmade, community gardens, vintage finds, health, and the local is more present than the chains. I have found Portland and I hope it can help me regain my spirit for art again. LA really drained me, everyone wants success, works themselves so hard, and pushes themselves almost to the bone just to “make it” but no one really seemed happy to me. I heard so many people complaining and it was an environment I couldn’t see my life ending up, even if I was able to make puppets and work for a well known studio, my life outside of the studio would be utterly depressing. I don’t look down on anyone trying to make it in LA but I know it’s not where I want to pack up and leave towards. Props to you if you did or are planning on it. If art has to become a side business for me here than so be it, I have enjoyed walking around, talking to strangers, and just observing how beautiful the Pacific Northwest can be. I’ll sacrifice my art for a quality life, but I sure do hope my art can take me somewhere here. I don’t like making mistakes, but that’s how I will learn and grow. Sorry this post didn’t have much of a conclusion but I really hope I can help others while I’m here and something will come to me soon enough to know where to start.
I also would like to make a friend. That would be nice too.
This is my jam for the rest of the year btw